on why i want to write
every blogger's first post x)
Here I am on Substack, another willing victim of the “Twitter to blog writer pipeline”. In trying to convince myself that I am not just like everyone else (though, that’s not a totally bad thing either), I am writing this blog post to share why this feels like a natural next step for me in understanding the world, and the beauty of the human condition.
First, I have always been a sentimental, nostalgic person, and I have always longed for a medium that could capture my strongest emotions. In the past, I have experimented quite a bit - photography, art, and more (to be honest, I didn’t have to try anything to know I have no talent in music), but never felt anything could accurately translate and portray my inner turmoils. My instinct has always been to scribble in my journal - nothing makes me feel more in my element, and I hope to share those musings. How beautiful it is to immortalize your thoughts and experiences, yet how much more beautiful it is, to be vulnerable and share them, to be challenged and understood.
Recently, as I try to make sense of my unfamiliar post-grad life, I have been ripping through books, and I have inexplicably always felt a natural pressure to create in forms that I tend to heavily consume. Eloquent writing not only leaves me in awe, but reveals to me thoughts and feelings I know I have myself, but am unable to articulate. In the exploration that this Substack will be, I hope to strike the same feeling in others.
God, ever since I got diagnosed with ADHD, I cannot help but notice how fleeting all my thoughts are (and why the short format of Tweets made me THRIVE). In forcing myself to produce long, introspection-rich writing, I hope to get a fuller understanding of my opinions and feelings. What a stranger I am to myself!
okay, so that took all my brain power for the day. on the flip side, i also wanted to mention some reasons it took me so long to start this, even though i had known for a while that this was something i wanted to do.
some hindrances:
all blog posts these days seem to give advice or arrive at some mind-blowing realizations. im only 21 and feel like i dont have enough knowledge to do this.
but (i hope) that’s not true, and it’s okay if what i write doesn’t conclude like this. THE JOURNEY IS AS IMPORTANT, IF NOT MORE, THAN THE DESTINATION AS THEY SAY!!!!!
sometimes i wonder if original thought/content even exists. or at least if i am capable of it. every niche thought i’ve ever had i’ve also seen in some tweet or tiktok. if other people have already written about it, what’s the point?
well, im not going to read every single thing that’s ever been written just to see if someone else has written about it already. as long as i express honestly from the heart and stay true to who i am, that’s all i can ask from myself.
im always scared of judgement, and there’s just so much to critique. how good is her writing? her thoughts are kinda stupid? wtf is this blog name?
well, i once thought the same about my twitter (literally, my username is cindohahahaha). and look how much joy it’s brought me since!
anyways, i hope this is the beginning of something truly worthwhile. if you look at my past, you’ll find that i have commitment issues with hobbies and side pursuits, so i won’t know for now. also i find the substack ui extremely confusing. also i start my busy busy job in <2weeks. but here’s to the wonder of where this will go, the excitement of not knowing how this will end. i hope you’ll come along for the ride. :)
- cindo